Reassembled

In some ways I could say reorganized, but that would indicate that at some point I WAS organized. Scratch that. I'm just trying to reassemble those things that were in place a month or so ago. The yard. My plants. The flower beds. My back room (crafts, writing, sewing...). My self. I take it as an organizational signal to get my s#@t together when it becomes school time. No exception, 2012. Our front yard is crisp, our backyard spikey with some green and some shredded wheat, and my tolerance of heat and drought in Oklahoma is minimal at best. Also my tolerance of those who do not take global warming seriously is minimal. Yes, I know the historical changes to the climate every 150 years, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just disagree with the notion that what we do as people doesn't matter. Trying to organize. Trying to get a plan in place for the coming months for my time. Trying to lose some weight (down 3 pounds in a week and no sodas). Trying to pack in more reading time with all of the above. Getting it done in little steps. I don't understand how people can just sit and be an observer in life. So much to do. So little time.

Learning

There are so many ways to learn and in educational jargon, many different "learning styles".  I don't remember terms like, "going off the deep end" or "crying and sweating on the treadmill", or "going through old family papers and old journal writing", or "digging in the dirt".  I think those must be my true learning styles.

This has been a learning and remembering week.
 
I've learned that Zumba is not for me.
I've learned that wearing shoes while exercising doesn't work for me.  Maybe my old yoga is where I belong.
I've learned that I must disclose if people are to really know me.  No, I'm not a closeted personality.  I just have some baggage.
I've learned that letting the words fly IS theraputic and okay!
I've learned that I like to sweat and I MUST HAVE some time to myself each day.  I used to stay up to the wee hours when my children were young...just to hear the quiet and think.
I've learned that I have little tolerance for hurtful personalities.  In reality...

I'm glad to breathe deeply.

a little plain

You never know when the very simple will influence the happiness of a given day.  Our backyard fence was over 30 years old, I'm sure (no, we are not the original owners!)...we replaced it last year with the help of neighbors on both sides.  It was a good thing for all of us.  Now I am happy to be getting plants and shrubs in order around my house and it makes for very nice times to sit in the morning with a drink and NPR.  I've discovered the pleasure of this plant (portulaca) for Oklahoma heat and humidity.  It gives beautiful tomato-red flowers every morning and then closes down the performance during the evening hours. 

The barren area to the left in the top picture is a running start with a variegated ground cover.  We are watering the dickens out of it (let's assume it had a great deal of "dickens" in it to begin with!)...and it is progressing...covering more and more each week.  Should be a fun thing to keep the other grass and weeds from setting up camp there, but that one was NOT my call! ~ and guess what?  I don't tend to that garden! :)   ...from the peaceful porch~  Lana

Moments From My Childhood

This is what I'm dreaming of for next summer at this time.  These adorn the picket fence three blocks from my house.  I've had the pleasure of driving by these hollyhocks whenever I get out to that "other world" of economic scramble...Target, Wally World, QuikTrip for gas, etc.  These just take me back to a reality I had as a child...at the back of my next door neighbor's house.  We would turn the hollyhock blooms upside down and pin on a bud (can you see them at the top of the stems?) for the "head" of the doll.  The flourishing petals were the "skirts" and then we could pretend to be at the ball... Ah...southern Missouri in the 1950's.

Go Figure. It's Hot.

It's July in Oklahoma.  That sort of explains things in a few words.  We had this same sort of thing last year, though it was truly over 100 degrees for weeks on end.  My whole "nice system" shut down quickly.  I didn't want to go anywhere; didn't want to see anyone; didn't want to DO anything!  At the time I was working 5 days a week and as soon as I got home (thankfully, a quick 5 minute drive) I would put on my "sloppier" clothes, lie down on the couch, and promptly fall asleep.  One hundred degree weather will promote such activities...
Let's not have a repeat this year. Please.

Greater Thinking Through Chemistry~ Crystal LIght

No.  I really doubt that it is the Crystal Light grape flavor energy drink that is helping me pull my brain in a jillion different directions.  I'm replacing my Dr. Pepper for the C.L. stuff more often than not.  Trying to cut the calories and dependance on the REALLY good stuff... Dr. Pepper. 
I have had several days and nights of things rolling around in my mind.  Things I would change.  Things I will change.  Things that happened in my childhood that I had no control over...and those I did.  It is so nice to have some time to really reflect on those.  I need to do more journal writing though. 
Right now I'm headed out the door (soon!) to see the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  I've heard so many great things about it and I think, especially so, for the over-60 group.
I have things to do and no one to see.  Quiet afternoon.  Good.  I'm liking this.

No, They Don't Have Extra Duties...

It's just my random guess, but I don't believe the chefs who do their chopping and mopping, braising and grazing, and slicing and dicing on T.V. have children to get to school, a load of white clothes in the dryer, a grant proposal to finish, and one child who can't-find-her-6th-grade-planner-that-needs-to-be-signed-or-she-will-get-a-zero.  Just my guess. I could be wrong.

~Kindred Spirits~

People~ you are my kindred spirits. One of the greatest gifts in my life is the spirit, truth, loves, joys, and energy of those I call my friends.  Some of these friends are family.  One or two are people whom I have never met...not in the sense of having spent physical space time.  It is difficult for me to understand how people do not want friends or need friends to nourish life itself.  I need friends for the give and take of my life and theirs.  We need each other for growth, for thoughts, for love and caring, for giving and sharing the great and the small.  I can't envision life in a different way.  It must be a narrow hallway with no light, a narrow space where roots are trying to take hold and have nothing to hold on to.  I thank my friends for helping me grow and thrive in life.

Strange Things

Those who know me know how much I love the publication, Where Women Create. I love it so much (@14.99 a pop!) that I will purchase the same magazine TWICE. Why do I do things in a such a hurry? Not thinking things through, or looking through things. Good grief! Went to Barnes and Noble on Friday night and found my favorite light reading...light, but I love it!...grabbed what I thought was a new issue of WWC. Got it home and, nope! Not! I had purchased the same magazine over a month ago! *B & N does NOT do returns on magazines, ladies and gentlemen. I don't care how much you paid for it nor that it is on newstands only 4 times a year. Does not matter.

...coming back into my previously written post, several months later.  At some time I have read that we (warm bodies out there who journal, write, post, or scribble) should never delete our writings.  So I didn't. 

...It's been a beautiful, warm day in Northeastern Oklahoma.  Our summer will probably be exceptionally warm...hot.  That's what most people say in early June in Oklahoma.  Boy.  I would have never picked living here lo these many years ago!  Why not St. Louis?!  or San Francisco? (well, I would be living on the streets if I lived there, that's why!)...but it might be worth it!!~ tho I DO LOVE the seasons of the Midwest!  Like many young married women in the Sixties...I moved where my husband moved.  No protest.  No question.  I've sure changed my tune!

So, there's that. 

AND....I bought a new Canon camera today!  Yea!!  Watch for pictures!  I'll probably use lemon juice and sunlight to make things appear!  Ah, the 1950's...

posting~  Lana

The Gold Leaf

I've heard the saying "Turn over a new leaf" for as long as I can remember. Probably came from my mother's wisdom. I don't recall ever having the thought so strongly as I do tonight. This leaf is gold. My son talks of "winning the Gold Ball"...as he is a high school basketball coach and, in winning the state tournament, the best team in a particular conference wins the "Gold Ball" at the State level for being the ultimate winner. So I'm choosing the Gold Leaf. Beginning at 1:20 this morning, I have an ultimate goal of not only turning over a new leaf, but making it one that will have significant meaning...the Gold Leaf. It is a decision and choice for me. One that will make my every moment better. It may be a difficult challenge. I'm up for that. It will be done.

Restless

I've been trying my best to get to sleep tonight, but I'm giving my mind a lesson in TIME LINES. I'm trying to reconstruct my own from my childhood years. It has left me restless and troubled. I never realized how abnormal my childhood was until I gained the perspective of time and exposure to those of others. I've always wondered why I did not have really happy memories....not necessarily BAD memories (though some were), but nothing truly happy for sections of time in my life. It was no secret that my father and I were not buddies. I never realized how much that has influenced me. I guess people might wonder why that even matters now that I'm into my sixty-fourth year on this earth. I like to know the "whys" of things and it seems that I've been very busy until now with everyone else's "whys"...
Just trying to reconstruct some things...and restless. It will all come together.

Let There Be LIght!

This house needs more of it!! I go around opening the blinds to let the morning light in...and I probably don't need to expound on the rest of that thought. Suffice it to say that I require more light in my life than does my husband.
I like sunshine. Especially so in the daytime!
Of course, with the sun comes the outpouring of dust bunnies, dead grass, cat hair, and the like. So today I'm on a cleaning mission. Yes, it's Sunday. Yes, I'm on a cleaning mission. Run needles through my fingers.
I can't stand it any longer. I think God will completely understand. This is driving me nuts and I just can't be my best self and go completely over the edge with Dirt Insanity. So I will start anew.

I went to Barnes and Noble on Friday night and bought the winter issue of Art Journaling (Stampington). I really enjoy the eye-candy and the reading in their publications. Inspiring to me. I was raised in a tiny town in the Ozarks; we did not HAVE Kindergarten, let alone anything that resembled an "art class" or times for art media expression in my grade school years...nor high school either, for that matter! Crayons in the cigar box at the Methodist Church on Sunday morning. New crayons from the downstairs basement in Nichols Brothers Store. New coloring books to match, once or twice a year. That and a stick in the dirt in the backyard. You think I'm kidding? I'm not! That was Art 101 in McDonald County Missouri in the 1950's. I did fall in love with paper dolls and I would save my dimes for paper doll books. I probably had a total of 5 in my life. Pretty good count for a family that thrived on fishing, boating, and hunting. It was a male dominant household, if you will. And I do love sailing and fishing. (Thanks, Tib. He also showed me patience, which the rest of the family was short on for many reasons.)
Now I'm trying to make time for myself and as many art media outlets as I can possibly find. Still have several trips to make to some specific art supply stores in Tulsa. I think there is a part of me that never blossomed. I know there is. God, give me a few more days in my life...

Dang, I'm Feeling Old and Cold!

It's been a great day! Sort of one that scooted around the corners of life...nothing too direct, nothing completely done, and one that I know will end with a nice hot bath and a craft book! Bring on the candles! My Dr. Pepper by the tub...now who else takes life with a grain of salt when all the woes and aches of life itself is telling me otherwise? Might as well enjoy the little things that make me happy.
Helped with getting my daughter's house in order today. Moving, divorce, three children...unloading boxes, putting things away, setting aside...Do you have any boxes to unload in YOUR life? Any thing that needs put away or set aside? I certainly do. On to another list or two...
I'm needing to spend some time with a project or two. Needing to feel a needle and thread in my hand. Some scissors for fabric or paper. Some colors and prints and textures...
I'm needing some alone time. Some Anadama bread...hot tea...honey...and the space heater. Brrrr...it's brisk and cold in Oklahoma today.
Say goodnight, Lana.

Just Working on This!

Pick a font. Pick any font. You're already running about an hour behind this morning so it really won't matter except for the fact that it may not be exactly what you want but oh well it's something written down on the ol blog board. Right. And yes, my grammar is not the greatest, but I do know a run on sentence when I see one and yes, we did learn to diagram sentences back in the Ozarks of Missouri in the late 1950's. So I will just continue. Thank you for staying with me thus far.

I'm in a quagmire. Look it up. Quagmire. I'm usually IN a quagmire. It began when I was around sixteen and hasn't let up too much since then. Gee. Almost 50 years of quagmiring...
Something should be speaking to me.

I'm just not having time (ONCE AGAIN) to get everything done that I want to get done. I'm wondering if a strict schedule (FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE) would work. I've been pondering that in my quagmire. I've also found that learning more than one or two things at the same time in the "life after 60" doesn't work nearly as well as it did when it was "life at thirty."
Perhaps I can learn wood crafting, word crafting, insurance sales, photography, and knitting all at the same time. Throw in "posting pictures to the blog sites/Pinterest/et al"... Can I do all of that AND get to the Y for an hour a day? and eat more healthfully? and make things for gifts? and spend time with my grandchildren? and actually work on a scrapbook of 60-plus years of life? Draw that picture for me and make me a map. Maybe if I got up at 3:00 every morning...

Open for suggestions.

Here Again...

Sometimes you come to the same place over and over again. Here again. Another beginning! I'm listing everything I've eaten today and everything I've had to drink. It is NOT a pretty picture...so I can't post the picture on here. I can say to myself that from this point on, some changes are in the works.
Maybe I really will become that Wild, Wacky, and Wonderful Woman! 2012 holds great promise.

She's Contemplative...

It's interesting to watch each of my grandchildren and spend time with them alone. This is my comtemplative one. This is what I see in her now. The photo was taken over a year ago, October 2010. She looks at the strands of life, even at such a young age. I think it is an amazing work of art in how we all fit into our surroundings...those of siblings, family, friends, and the extended environments of our lives. She wants to have a bakery when she grows up...and "maybe be a designer, too, Mamaw." Her young mind holds so many designs.

I'd Like to Invite You to Brunch!

Well, yes I would! This is one of my most favorite memories... a small hotel on the Rhine. Koblenz, Germany; early morning with coffee, cheese, hard salami, granola, and juice. Ah...just a nice place to relax. Let's go!

Oh, let's wait until April or May. I have some basketball games to watch between now and then! And an OSU-Stanford game to watch tomorrow night.